WHAT ABOUT SHIDDUCH?

The very first stage of a traditional Jewish marriage, is the shidduch, or matchmaking. This means that the process of finding a partner is not haphazard or based on purely external aspects. Rather, a close friend or relative of the young man or woman, who knows someone that they feel may be a compatible partner, suggests that they meet.

The purpose of the meeting is for the prospective bride and groom to determine if they are indeed compatible. The meetings usually focus on discussion of issues important to marriage as well as casual conversation. The Talmud states that the couple must also be physically attractive to each other, something that can only be determined by meeting. According to Jewish law physical contact is not allowed between a man and a woman until they are married (except for certain close relatives), and also they may not be alone together in a closed room or secluded area. This helps to ensure that one's choice of partner will be based on the intellect and emotion as opposed to physical desire alone.

The practice

In strictly Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides (usually the parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved) make inquiries about the prospective partner, e.g. on his/her character, intelligence, level of learning, financial status, family and health status, appearance and level of religious observance.

A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah, or good deed. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. A professional matchmaker is called a Shadchan.

After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another. The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community. In some, the dating continues several months. In stricter communities, the couple may decide within a few days. Also the age when shidduchim start may vary by community.

In frum circles, especially among Hassidim,eighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice.

Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional judaism´s outlook on Tzeniut, modest behaviour in relations between men and women, and prevents promiscuity. It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.

Also, the decision as to whether or not the mate is good can be made with the emotional boundary of the shadchan who, if so desired by the couple, can call and talk to either side in the beginning stages of the dating to iron out issues that can crop up during the dating process. Usually as the couple see more of each other the shadchan backs away and lets the couple manage it themselves. It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.

If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead. If the shidduch works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success.

HERE SOME INFO, SO YOU MAY USE TO HAVE A SHIDDUCH....

http://www.shidduchim.info/sites.html

Post Wedding Jewish Rituals

Y WANT TO POST THIS THAT I FOUND ON A SITE BECAUSE I THINK IT IS ALSO INTERESTING TO KNOW THE "AFTEWARDS" OH THE WEDDING...

Some times Jewish wedding have been criticized for their orthodox rituals, according to some religion critics. The biggest issue that they have to talk about is that after the recitation of the ketubah, though the groom gets to speak up a declaration but the girl only gets the girl. In Jewish tradition, girl allowing the boy to place ring on her index finger of left hand, means that she accepts that boy as her Husband.

Anyhow! The marriage ring has been worn and they have been formally announcing ad the Mr. and the Mrs. The next thing to look forward is the post wedding Jewish rituals.
The yichud

An intriguing ritual as part of the post wedding Jewish rituals. In this custom, the couple is allowed to spend some moments alone.

Many couples are on fast at their wedding day. So during these moments they can break their fast with whatever they want to have.
Such moments are allowed to have in order to give them some break from the hectic schedule since morning of that day.

After this ritual, the couple finally joins their guests for the feasting.
Seudat Mitzwah

As the couple enter, they are announced as wife and husband and all welcome them with applaud. Rice grains are even thrown on them

A grand feast waits for all as the wedding has been solemnized. As the bride and the groom enter into this feasting hall, they are made to sit at the centre while all the friends and the relatives sit around them in a circle.
Dancing goes on.

As the guests settle down they are given some booklets or small brochures for the rest of the programs that will be materialized. These booklets may include the copies of ketubah text, menu of the party, the names of various vendors who contributed in the wedding and also the names of those who are witness to that wedding.

The Forshpiel

Shabbat Kallah (SHABAT BRIDE)

Yiddish speakers can readily understand the meaning of forshpiel, which translates literally as “pre-party.” Guests gather in the bride’s and groom’s homes on the Sabbath afternoon before their wedding to sing and celebrate with the newlywed to be couple.



The bride’s pre-party is called “Shabbat Kallah,” the Sabbath bride. The celebration links the bride to Shabbath, which has been mystically nicknamed as God’s bride. (Lecha Dodi, a prayer in welcoming the Shabbath, recited Friday night, repeats the refrain: “Lecha dodi likrat kallah penei Shabbat nekabelah,” Go, my beloved, to greet the bride, the countenance of Shabbat we will greet.)